Going to a funeral.

Just got the news earlier this evening. The funeral is not tomorrow but the day after.

Was advised: "People have been advised not to wear total black to the service."

I have a business suit that is very, very dark blue. When I bought the suit a month ago, salesman said it may not be black but you can still wear this to funerals.

Would this be appropriate since it's not 'total black', or should I be wearing a grey suit or something that is clearly not black?

It's going to be an emotionally-charged funeral for me for a number of reasons but I am not going to let it show one bit.
 
Sorry about your loss James. I wouldn't fret too much about what to wear at the funeral. More important that you are there, to show that the person mattered to you.

I'd think the "not to wear total black" means that you have not to wear black shirt, black tie, black suit and so on altogether. Your suit sounds fine. A black suit and white shrt would be fine too.
 
Sorry for your loss James and-- your photo.. I can feel the connection. My suggestion would be to wear your suit, lighten it up with your shirt and a more vibrant tie and you can always take your jacket off and drape it on your arm or a chair when you are there to break up the darkness of your attire. Above all don't worry. Everyone fumbles through these things.. your being there is what truly matters.
 
Sorry for your loss James. I think a bright tie would be very nice. I'm sure the departed wouldn't want everyone to be sullen. Mourn their passing for sure, but celebrate their life as well.

And I wouldn't waste an ounce of energy trying to cover your emotion. Let it all out. You'll feel better for it. Just my 2 cents. I love the photo, btw.
 
Take care James. Try and get some sleep. Sounds like you have a lot of emotions to deal with. If in any way we can help, just say.

Karen
 
Yeah, the suit and light coloured shirt with brightish tie combo sounds like the best plan. The good thing about ties is you can take a different one in your pocket for last minute changes if you're really worried about it.

I increasingly realise that no-one has the answer and everyone is just trying to get through as best they can. Take care, James.
 
My condolences, James. I hope things go well for you. The dark blue suit sounds fine; I've been to funerals where people were wearing mid blue pinstripe suits, others were wearing black jackets and neat black jeans. No one batted an eyelid. The intention is to honour the deceased and blend into the background.
 
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